Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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