That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
