I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
