He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
