just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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