PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
