please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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