she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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