you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
