we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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