I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
