Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This can only be settled by a dance off.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
