mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
