I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
