I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
