So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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