actually, I'm a sock model
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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