Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
