Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
