The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
