I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
