there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
