i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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