More tranny stories later!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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