im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
