You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize