Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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