i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
