marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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