It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
