this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
