why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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