Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
