i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
