So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
