She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
