member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
