Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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