I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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