I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My first STD was from a foam party
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
