if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
