i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
