Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
