She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
