Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
