conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my poor anus
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
