ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
