I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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