He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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