It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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