One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
