I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
