i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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