He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
