Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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