I heard we made out
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
