I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
